Things I Don't Own
Internet Merch
5th December, 2025
You and your beloved probably have some internet-based creators you both enjoy. A YouTube series, or a podcast, maybe even a webcomic. Those creators probably have merch, and your recipient is predisposed to like it.
A couple of ours have books out this Christmas. Great Art Explained makes calmly insightful art videos, free of gurning and whats-up-guys. There’s a coffee table book with the same title.
A Big Bobble Hat
5th December, 2025
I like to watch live events. Do I care about ice skating? Not as a sport. But as a live event: totally. It’s like the fun of watching the Olympics, where you play armchair expert while simultaneously trying to figure out what matters in the sport. Ice skating races are short, and anything could happen. Falls are common so races get upended. Ice skating’s great drop-in lunch viewing.
Brutal London
13th December, 2021
I wouldn’t describe myself as a fan of brutalist architecture, but I’ve always appreciated its intent. It’s straightforward and functional. It wanted low-cost housing to be available to everyone. And when a building focuses entirely on functionality, the emotional warmth comes entirely from the family and the community.
The utopian shine hasn’t stuck to the buildings, but the style still has some fans. Maybe your gift recipient is one of them? Brutal London is a history and case study of nine brutalist projects in London, as well as press-out-and-build paper models. It’s published by Zupagrafika, who also make editions for other locations. They also sell some cool notebooks.
A Jigsaw Jigsaw
7th December, 2021
I’m not convinced that jigsaws are good gifts. A jigsaw seems like something that’s better when borrowed, rather than owned. I can’t imagine they have a lot of repeat value.
And this won’t click with everyone: a jigsaw fan friend of mine says she hates ones with repetitive patterns, gradients, or solid colours. She uses jigsaws as a way to spend time immersed in artwork, studying the details rather than just looking at the whole. “You’d have to pay me to do this one,” she said.
Beethoven Kitchen Timer
30th September, 2021
Not a useful idea, this. Most people use their phones as a kitchen timer. I use the one on my stove.
But for someone who needs a physical timer, and with a particular taste - they probably own a bright red toaster - this is quite handsome. A lot of “designy” kitchen stuff is impractical — the dinosaur ladles are unstable; the manatea is tough to clean — but this one should work as well as any electronic timer.