Gift Ideas

Avoiding Stuff

December 6th, 2021

We all have too much stuff, don’t we? Doesn’t everyone feel weighed down by their possessions and clutter? Our homes are overflowing with things we never use. As a gift giver, I try not to add to that.

As a gift receiver, I like it when people avoid physical items. I am a soft-hearted sentimentalist; I will bond emotionally with any cheap junk you gift me, because it was a gift from someone I care about. And so I coddle the junk, no matter how inconvenient or unwanted it is.

Here’s a hierarchy of ways to avoid adding to this burden.

Experiences

Rather than giving an object, give an event. This was easier pre-Covid, but might now be viable again. The event could be something organised, like:

Alternatively, put an event together yourself. I’ve given my Dad a “night out” several times - a gift voucher for the local cinema, and another for a nearby restaurant. Offer to babysit if your recipient has kids.

Groupon is filled with bad deals, but sometimes they have a good event or inspiration. Ditto for Experience Days.

Ineffables

Does your recipient pay for a hobby? Why not pay for some of it? It’s an easy gift, you support their passions, and they’ll think of you when taking part. You’re looking for activities like:

There are also things that sound promising but are hard to execute. But maybe you can make one of these work:

Gift cards and money

Some people think money is a terrible, unimaginative gift. But I don’t hate it: it’s easy to give, and universally useful. It’s particularly convenient if your recipient lives in a different country. You can send instructions with the money, too: “Use this for a nice meal,” “Use this for firewood next time you go camping,” “Spend this on a music lesson,” etc.

If money feels too general, then a gift card is a good middle ground. Be sure to choose a gift card from somewhere they buy from. Be careful with digital services if your recipient moved abroad: they probably have a mishmash of services from different countries. (I know I do.) Again, including some suggestions can elevate it: “I thought about getting you A, B, or C, but didn’t know if you wanted/needed that, so a gift card seemed safer.”

Gift cards are also a good option for expensive hobbies. A new camera lens is hundreds or thousands of dollars, so is out of reach as a standalone gift. But a gift card lets you contribute to the purchase without breaking the bank. (Cash can be even better - a different camera store might offer a better deal.)

If you receive money or a gift card, it’s nice to let the gifter know how you spent it. Snap a quick photo and text them a thank you.

Digital things

Does your recipient pay for a service? Spotify, Netflix, Disney+, Masterclass, Amazon Prime, etc? You can cover that. Beware buying them a subscription to something they don’t use already - they might not use your gift. And now you’ve given them guilt.

Similarly, some services offer a paid tier, but don’t add much value. For instance: if your recipient doesn’t already pay for Reddit Gold or Discord Nitro, there’s no point giving those subscriptions even if they use Discord/Reddit all the time. Double-check first.

The gift of an ad-free experience is always worth it. YouTube Premium is eye-wateringly expensive (presuming you don’t use the music service) but it’s so nice to escape pre-roll, post-roll, and mid-roll adverts.

Consumable things

Here we leave the ineffable world behind, and start giving physical items. But they’re consumable items - once used, they don’t take up any more mental or physical space in the recipient’s life.

The key to a good consumable gift is luxury. The gift should feel like a treat. Spend more than you usually would. But not too much, lest the recipient save it forever. It’s easy to find a reason to open a $100 bottle of wine. But what about a $1,000 bottle?

I really like consumable gifts, so I have an entire section of ideas. In bullets:

Charitable gifts

The adverts ask: “What do you get the person who has everything?”. The answer: nothing. They won already: they have everything. Donate to a charity in their name instead.

Things they really need

A physical item isn’t clutter if it’s needed or wanted. There’s nothing wrong with giving those - they’re just hard to identify in the age of cost disease.

Bonus tips for soft-hearted sentimentalists

If you’re like me - if you form strong attachments to anything people give you - first of all: sorry to hear that. Secondly: I can’t cure you. I can’t even temper you. But I can offer some coping strategies:

← Principles of good gifts