Things I Own
A Gluggle Jug
20th November, 2025
This is not a gift for everybody. As a jug, it’s impractical: it doesn’t hold a lot of liquid, and is tricky to clean. As a vase, it’s usable but not great. Not many people need a jug in their lives. And some people would look at this jug and think it’s hideous.
But listen: the jug gluggles. It makes a glugging sound as you pour water in and out. It’s delightful and unexpected.
A Travel Mug
25th November, 2021
A travel mug is a very practical gift, as long as the recipient doesn’t own one already. Sure, you reduce waste when grabbing a takeaway coffee (and save 10-25ยข each time), but that’s an entry-level move. The real power: take a hot drink with you at other times. Going on an autumn walk or hike? Attending a parade, a fireworks display, or wandering around the shops? Going ice skating? If you’re outside for a couple of hours in chilly weather, a hot drink is a godsend. There’s two reasons those naff middle-aged outdoorsy people are relentlessly cheerful in the cold weather: they’re wearing more layers than you, and they have a nice cup of tea with them.
A Buff
18th November, 2021
This is a boring, unexciting gift. There is no universe where a buff produces an ooh. I love my buff, and even I wouldn’t be excited to receive it.
But I love my buff. It’s small and light, so lives in my bag permanently. It’s surprisingly warm when worn as a neckscarf: ideal to slip on when the temperature drops after sunset, whether you’re sitting on a bar patio or around the campfire. In winter it’s a second layer under a thick scarf, and pulls up to cover your face. I also wear mine a lot while cycling, covering the top of my head & ears under my helmet. It keeps the wind off, which makes a big difference in comfort. It’s easy to clean & dries quickly. Mine’s about 10 years old and still going strong. In summary: you’re giving a reliable, easy, warm friend.
Vintage Adult Magazines
8th November, 2021
This definitely isn’t a universal gift and is tough to find, but a vintage Playboy magazine is an excellent gift for the right person. For a start, there’s no way they own it already.
But mostly it’s a time capsule: the topics, the photography, the design, the adverts. The adverts! Reel-to-reel tape players, cigarettes, clock radios. And the quality of the writing might surprise you - the canard “I buy it for the articles” is rooted in truth. Just look at the list of contributors: Truman Capote, Philip K Dick, Dick Gregory, and Henry Miller. When you think “Playboy”, you probably don’t think “First person accounts of life in Iran”… but here we are.
A UV Torch
30th October, 2021
If you’ve never played the “What’s UV-reactive in your wallet?” game, you’re missing out. Banknotes are a good place to start, sure - but ID cards, credit cards, and other things often light up too. Canadian passports are a full-on light show. Walk around the house in the dark, and discover what fluoresces. All for less than $5 including shipping (but not batteries).
Throw in a UV marker too. A permanent marker is good for adults, but there are cheaper versions for kids out there. (DealExtreme will sell you a 7-pack for $11; Amazon sells them for a little more.) For adults, this is now a security-conscious gift: you can postcode your expensive items. For kids, it’s a spy kit: invisible notes. Give the kid a magazine as well, and you’ve got a fun afternoon of “Guess how I defaced this celebrity”.
Penknives
30th September, 2021
I have a penknife in my bag. It’s useful, and has a pleasing physicality. The click of a tool snapping into place; the gentle weight in your palm. I mostly use it to file rough nails or trim horrifying finger skin.
This might be the perfect gift; even if your recipient already owns one, there’s always somewhere else to deploy it. Keep the new penkinfe in your car’s glovebox, or your office drawer, or the bedside cabinet.